happy dead granddad day!

is it terrible that i feel no love or loss towards my granddad? i feel bad about it, yet when being truthful to myself... it's the way i feel. after the year of strife he caused all the members of my family and after the way i've come to learn how he truly treated his children and my nana and his grandchildren i just don't like the man. he didn't deserve everything he was given. his children are amazing people and yet he never said he was proud of them. my nana was the most amazing person in the world and i know i'm biased but everyone thought that about her and yet behind closed doors he was a real jerk. and now, the ultimate humiliation of disinheriting his own children after having committed with my nana to leave them the estate and pass down the house in maine. and it's not just the disinheriting that makes me hate him. it's the fact that my dad and his siblings did nothing to deserve it. absolutely nothing. are they saints? no. but is anyone? they called, they visited, they tried to love him in the ways they knew how, they dropped what they were doing in their lives to go help that hobag when she asked. they didn't deserve this. it's not the money... it's the gesture and the lies he told my nana. my nana signed everything in her name to him with the premise that he'd in turn leave everything to her amazing children. he promised and then renegged. he didn't fulfill my nana's wishes. he didn't fulfill commitments that he made to her and his children when they sent each of their children a letter in the 80s (which my dad kept, thank god for packrats!) explaining their will and what they ultimately saw happening upon their deaths. leaving everything to a nondeserving hobag was not written in that letter. and i guess that is why i am so angry. mom wants me to drop the anger as she says it hurts me more than anyone else. i know this. but i'm not ready. i'm not ready for forgiveness and i'm not ready to give up the anger yet. i'm still healing... as for the happy dead granddad day, last year on this day, his birthday, we had his memorial service where i comforted and held that hobags hand and told her it'd be ok. i comforted that woman and it makes me sick. i had no idea of what she'd done or he'd done until christmas eve. and for that, i say happy dead granddad day.