i'm going to spain!!

in two weeks!! so, ok things are still pretty in the dumps for me, but this will definitely help to make things better (i hope!). as many of you know, my parents have a time share that they trade for really cool places all over the world. in the past, they've taken our family to fiji and the caymans. well, lately my parents have been doing the fun trips with their friends and leaving their lovely children home to work their jobs. they had informed me they were going to spain awhile ago, but i brushed it off because i knew i would be too new at my job to even think about going. however, with this sudden development of not getting paid and looking for a new job, what better time to take a trip and forget about the real world if only for a week. i'm good at that... burying my head until a problem is gone.... anyways i asked my mom when the trip was scheduled for and low and behold they are going feb 28th through mar 7th! i won't lie... it took some begging, some pleading, and a good old fashioned well reasoned argument (my mom swears i should have been an attorney, i tell her a sales person is the same dang thing without as much school) and now i am off to spain with as my mom puts it "the old fogeys"... mom, dad, and their two friends - another couple. the time share is only a two bedroom so i get to have the living room and the pull out couch, but i could care less because i am going to spain! and not just anywhere in spain - marbella, spain!
the resort - doesn't it look gorgeous?!
my "room"

however, while this trip is extremely exciting and satifies my unsatisfiable appetite for wonderlust... i am not without a heavy heart and twisted emotions. it all goes back to the job. my boss talked to me today and made me feel so torn. i don't know what to trust anymore. i really don't. i trust and then i get screwed by being so gullible.... i finally trusted the sinister minister linda (gdad's wife who truly got her ministry degree while they were married) and then she fucked the entire family including my grandad. bought her story hook, line, and sinker. finally trusted another guy after mike, and it got me with scott. so i don't know whether to move on or stay put at this job! just when i think i've finally made up my mind completely and totally, my boss comes and gives me his plea and basically tells me well who is going to hire you and pay you the kind of money you can potentially make here - weather the storm, it'll be worth it. will it?! is it really so bad out there that all i can find is a job that pays me next to nothing? and then my doctor told me today when i told her how stressed i was that well, at least you have a job. there are people without those and it's a hard time right now... i know people who haven't been paid in much longer than you... gee, that makes me feel great. i am so emotional these days and i hate it. this limbo is so terrible for me... so as you can see, this trip comes at an amazing time. except, i haven't told my boss i'm going and i doubt he'll let me stay on so it looks like my decision may be made for me... but who knows... i am one of the boss' two pets. so maybe i could mkae it work out... but then our company has such a terrible reputation... i don't know if that can be saved. so many thoughts running through my head... obviously... and as my friends, you get to read all about it in my online diary.... lucky you :)

i love you all.