thanksgiving.

we all know and knew it would be and was going to be a different kind of thanksgiving this year... the biggest difference needs no mentioning... as dad's missing is far and away the largest gap and change. but tradition used to be that thanksgiving was always in houston at our house. in the beginning, it was our family, my dad's sister and her family, my nana and grandaddy. then nana passed away when i was 13 and grandad got remarried that year - he stopped coming to our thanksgivings. but ellen and her family always came from dallas. and then my grandpa joined the mix for many years until his passing. other friends... other relatives... boyfriends and girlfriends have also been present over the years.

dad did the preparing - always the same menu - and always having everything timed to the precise minute so that all the food would be ready together. he'd have this piece of paper with all the various times things needed to be ready for the oven and how long things should cook for and what time various dishes needed to be started. he was a trained scientist... he loved being precise! once the lake house was built, thanksgiving moved from our house in houston to the lake house just north of houston. dad still doing the regular meal and familiar favorite recipes... even as andrew became vegan (like 8 years ago), dad still cooked all the same recipes but he also took it further and added in a tofurkey (ew), a vegan rice dish, regular potatoes with a side of vegan ones, green beans with butter and ones without, a vegan stew... everyone liked the additional food as well, but it definitely added way more in the way of dishes and scheduling! thankfully when building the lake house, mom and dad knew thanksgivings would be held there and made sure to put in a double oven...

this year, we went to malibu. ellen and her family no longer are in dallas - they moved 2 and a half years ago to malibu. and so new traditions. my uncle jim became the head chef and orchestrator of the meal... many of the same items were still present and a few different. in years past, we always had a prime rib and yorkshire pudding the night before... this year we went out to dinner and went to a comedy performance where caitlin was performing stand up comedy in burbank (at flappers which - sidebar - has two locations, one in burbank and the other in claremont!!!) along with a bunch of other comedians being showcased that evening. she was hilariously awesome and we got to meet a bunch of her friends.

jim did a fabulous job with head chef duties and the meal was delicious. and to be honest, until i was writing this, i'd forgotten about the oysters dad always made as part of the tradition. i'm pretty sure he was the only who really even liked the oysters. lord knows i'd try them every other year or so, but never did enjoy the oyster casserole thingy. even though dad ate the majority of it and maybe jim would have a bite or two as well, dad always dutifully made it. it was tradition. his tradition growing up that his mom, my nana, always had made. not to have oysters would have been weird to him. not to have dad... and remembering the oysters now is just weird to me... but alas, new traditions i suppose.

part of the malibu backyard - this is the turtle pond. there is also a koi pond, but that's in the front yard!

more lovely backyard. beyond the fence there is a view of the ocean.

ellen and caitlin

my brother with milly, the ginormous dog

beautiful sunset

the cousin, ben, me, and the other cousin, caitlin

cousins hanging out. including caitlin's boyfriend, nate. and no, this is not the same boy as at last year's thanksgiving!

jim dutifully and expertly handling the cooking

ben, ellen, caitlin and jim

so this is ben. and jaws. jaws is my default favorite kitty of theirs - she's 19! for you non cat lovers, that's OLD! i first met little jawsy when she was a new kitten and addition, i made the visit to dallas and met her before going to maine with ellen and fam. it was the summer of 93, and my nana had died that june. i think it was in august, but that's a detail i can't say for sure. it's just amazing to me that little jaws (she was a mouthy kitten) could possibly be 19 years old!

a turtle from the pond. i think there are supposed to be 13 or something.

this is miss meower marie (that's her official name). she's just called meower. when caitlin was littler, she wanted to name everything with a french flair, hence the marie in meower's name!

ellen and ben at malibu seafoods on pch.

me and momma.

me and caitlin.

a riveting game of yahtzee family fun. mom played also but i'm just now noticing she's not in the picture.

and so another thanksgiving comes to a close. since i was going to be in ca anyways i decided to tack on a trip to visit all (or try to visit all!) of those nearest and dearest in the so cal area. i promise to blog soon about those adventures!

i won't say it was all pretty in malibu or as lovely as all the pictures make it seem and suffice it to say, it was a very very hard time for every one of us. but i am grateful and thankful to have the family left that i do and that we can still at least sort of claim some of the tradition we knew as thanksgiving. i know i have more than enough to be thankful for... and i am... i just miss my dad. and this just happens to be one glaring holiday of his absence.