better hurry up and visit nyc if you want a free place to stay!!

monday, aug 27th.

and then today... ah yes... lovely monday. so it's been over a week now that i haven't talked to scott, but seriously, it feels like a month. and that makes me sad that i can't talk to him, but i refuse to be the pathetic girl... and so i move on... secretly (or not so secretly now) hoping that he'll call or text or email... i really miss talking to him... and this past week has been one of the biggest weeks ever... did i mention i am MOVING!?!?! yes, moving. i think i forgot to mention that in my blogs of today... but i made a decision last sunday while i was with matt and his gf and then at the airport. i'm moving to chicago. so many reasons... so let me list...

1. FRIENDS. there are so many of you good close friends from high school and college living there in chicago. and friends that i met after h.s. and college. i miss that in ny. i have friends here of course, but not like the ones i have in chicago (or ca for that matter)

2. FAMILY. my aunt and uncle live there. i have zero family here.

3. BUYING A PLACE. i'm so excited that i'll be able to afford a great place and not break the bank! i've wanted to buy a place for forever and nyc is not affordable. i mean to buy my place would be abuot 750k for 700sf. um, i think not.

4. FINANCIAL REASONS. chicago is just cheaper. there is a reason nyc is known as being so expensive. because it is. rent is expensive. taxes are expensive. i'm not cutting it here and i don't like feeling like i am behind the 8 ball on this one.

5. JOB. i'm not very happy these days. mostly b/c the sales team constantly takes a beating and nobody listens to what i have to say in terms of helping this place grow. the commissions are less than i was led to believe and none of that makes me particularly happy these days. the one thing i do like is our product. i love the product i sell...

it just feels right. so right. and i couldn't be more excited. i really hope to be there within a few months and certainly by the end of the year. the only things that need to line up now are the job and the house search!!

so... if you want to visit me in nyc or if you just want a free place to stay in ny, you better hurry up b/c i hopefully will not be here much longer! but, please please please come visit my new house in chicago! i will have at least 2 bedrooms - maybe 3 - and at least 2 bathrooms so you'll have plenty of space! much more than my place in ny. i can't wait...

wow, that was kind of a lot for one blog... stay tuned for the pictures... and more updates. i promise to be a better blogger from now on....

the last few days....

friday, aug 24th

after the longest week ever, friday finally rolled around and i got to go to boston just for the day for work. i got to go f1 racing for work! one of the companies that we work with invited their partners to come out for a day of racing. so i got to go. there were probably 25 racers altogether and we took turns doing 15 lap races and at the end, if you you in the top 10 racers you got to do the final race for all the glory (and a trophy for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place!). i can't tell you how much i wanted one of those trophies... alas it was not meant to be, but i finished 8th and beat out a whole lotta guys... i was pretty proud of that! pictures forthcoming!!

saturday, aug 25th

i treated myself to a haircut and highlights from the frederic fekkai salon at bendel's on fifth avenue. i paid waaaaaaay too much, but sometimes a girl just needs to feel beautiful. especially when mending a very sad heart... so i went and saw brandon and george. apparently george is the hair colorist to the models. they were both fabulous! i am now the owner of more layers, shorter bangs, and caramel colored highlights that are a very flattering color! saturday night, it was a girls night out and we went to dinner and then to drinks at a variety of places. we started at agave, then went to sushi samba 7, then employees only, and then we were going to go to bar martinetti's, but traffic was horrible and i (being the old one that i am) got very tired and decided to go home b/c i knew it would be an early morning...

sunday, the 26th



meghan and i took the 9:51am train from penn station to bridgehampton and then walked to the hamptons classic which is a huge equistrienne event. now, i'm not big into horses and i've never been to a horseshow, but i figured why not?! something completely and totally different for a sunday when i'd normally be recovering from a hangover. so after about a 2 hour train ride (which was freezing and i'm glad i brought my travel blanket!), we arrived. it is a massive event and the horses were beautiful. meghan explained what was going on b/c i had no clue, but it was fun to see. the only complaint i have is that it was possibly one of the most humid days ever! later that evening we made our way back to the train and made the 2 hour journey back to nyc.

it's been awhile...

well, it's been a while... this could be a rather long long post. orrrr, i could split it up in to several posts. hmm. what to do what to do. as devon pointed out just this morning, i am no longer allowed to ignore my blog. well folks, i've been ignoring it mostly because i haven't had the energy or the heart to do it. last weekend started off absolutely fabulously and ended as one of the worst weekends in history. this past week was rather boring... until friday when i got to be an f1 race car driver for the day. and then i visited a new hair salon and spent the day in the hamptons. the weekend flew by, but it was just what i needed. and now, it's off to another boring week here in the office. and now... let me expand on all those topics... i guess this will be one rather long post. there will be plenty of pictures... don't worry... i just have to upload them. as you read, you'll understand why the pics are still forthcoming and why i haven't been too anxious to upload them...

Last Weekend.



on friday, the 17th, i flew to chicago o'hare and met up with scott. we were in town for my high school friend, laura's wedding. but we decided to make a weekend of it and stay in chicago for friday night. devon and patrick graciously agreed to play host and let us stay with them in their really great place. devon set up a wonderful dinner for scott and me, matt and elizabeth, and patrick and devon at aria. we had our own little area for dinner and at one point it felt like we were there all by ourselves in the restaurant. the food was delicious! then we went to a few more bars - one being called chaise lounge. i don't remember the other two. somewhere along the way i really wanted water, but kept getting handed beers to drink. ok... so i did. drink the beers. and not water.




Sat, the 18th. Day of the wedding.

devon and i went to brunch with my friend alice from high school. i had lost touch with alice for almost 10 years and we just reconnected over myspace. i was ecstatic because we were super good friends in high school and i always wondered about her. so we met for bruch at this delicious place. i can't remember the name, but i had huckleberry pancakes!! YUM!!!! while the girls were brunching, the boys were doing who knows what. but they went and got their own food.

after brunch, scott and i left for our drive to culver (the town and name of my high school in IN). it took us after two and a half hours, but we finally made it. scott kept wondering where in the hell i was taking him, but i kept telling him to trust me and that it was beautiful where we were going. but after passing by many many rednecks with confederate flags and a lot of cornfields, i don't think he believed me that culver really was in fact a little oasis on the lake in the middle of indiana. we got to the bed and breakfast where we were staying and thought we were doing great on time. HOWEVER, culver is on eastern time not central like chicago and we didnt factor that in. the b&b owner was all, doesn't the wedding start in 20 mins at 6?? WHAT!?!?!?!?! holy shit, i have never moved faster in my life. i was ready in about 2.2 seconds and it took scott maybe 4.2 seconds, but we rushed out the door and i've got to say, we looked pretty damn good for having gotten ready so quickly. we even made it to the church on time!! thank god. i was rather nervous and stressed out about that one... the ceremony was held on campus in our church which has beautiful stained glass and is gorgeous. the ceremony was lovely and so nice and then the reception was amazing. unfortunately it was raining, but it wasn't too terrible. i got to see a few people i knew: katy henderson who went to culver with me and becky rueth who were both in the wedding. their bridesmaids dresses were so pretty! laura looked absolutely stunning in her wedding dress. the tent was gorgeous - you'd never know 2 tornados blew threw earlier in the week and the whole tent had landed in the lake and had to be re-set up - what a nightmare... the food was delicious and they had a wonderful band playing all kinds of fun dancing music. scott and i had what i thought was a blast dancing to the band and enjoying the wedding. after the wedding, i took scott on a late night tour of the campus where i went to high school. some things have changed other things are exactly the same. it is such a beautiful place with so many great memories. then we drove home and the weekend took a dramatic turn. scott decided he could no longer do the long distance thing. yup. pretty much ripped my heart out that night after what i thought was an amazing weekend (and only 2 weeks after an amazing time in the dominican). so i was extremely hurt (obviously) and didn't sleep at all that night. finally the sun came up enough that it was acceptable for me to get up and go for a walk. the air was cold and it was still drizzly, but i needed fresh air. so i went for a walk thru culver. and then, we had to drive back to chicago. it was the worst drive ever. scary hard rain and silence. i didn't know what to say and he said nothing the entire way. not even the radio was on. well, we get back to devon's and here's where the story just gets way too long and way too personal to tell over a blog... let's just say my heart is broken and that it had been 5 long years since i let anyone in and just as i do... it gets broken yet again... thought things were different and i was completely blindslided... but the weekend continues to get better. b/c of the aforementioned rain, my flight was delayed. and delayed. i was supposed to leave at 7pm. it didn't leave til well after 1am. i didn't get home til 4:30AM. i didn't go to work.

the baby shower

so saturday was my very first baby shower for my friend, jessica johnson (not the same jess mentioned below). it was held at cipriani downtown in soho which is such a lovely spot. it was perfect for this event. the afternoon was sunny and bright which was wonderful considering that the day before it had rained all day long. we were set up in the front of the restaurant at a long table and there were beautiful flower arrangements down the length of the table. there were probably 15 or so guests at the lunch. there were free flowing bellinis as well. literally as soon as someone set their champagne flute down that was mostly empty, the waiter swooped in and set down another. no idea how many of those we drank, but i can tell you probably way too many for a saturday afternoon! there was also so much food that it was rather overwhelming! but, it was all so good. the tuna tartare and the swordfish carpacchio were so delicious. and then we were brought an assortment of their pastas which were also very good. there was so much food, we probably could have fed 40 guests and i'm not exagerating!

we then played "guess the baby" to which i truly had no skill at whatsoever. i got two of them corrent. me and my friend, meghan, whose picture i had seen before. yeah, go me! i'll blame that on the bellinis....

and then it was time for the presents. i gave her a bumbo which is what my coworker swears is the best invention ever. it went over very well i must say. there were a lot of other great gifts given as well and it was so fun to see all those cute little baby things. lest any of you think it made me want one of those things running around, um no. not right now and not any time soon... but it did make me want to go back to my early teenage years and babysit! so, yes, i offered my services to jess and her hubby aaron. i must say i ran a very successful babysitting business when i was younger... and yes the parents trusted me!!!

so, at some point during the lunch, i looked over and saw a familiar looking guy. i couldn't quite place him - only that i knew he looked super familiar. and then the light clicked. it was dean. tori spelling's husband. and then i thought, well if dean is here, i bet tori is too! thanks to my bellini induced eyesight, i looked at the person right next to me at the next table over and sure enough it was tori spelling. i love donna martin. and in between dean and tori was there adorable little tot wearing a shirt saying "my mom is hot". that's my celebrity sighting. i tried to get some pics without being obvious, but it was rather difficult. once i upload the pics, i'll show you the beautiful shower pictures and the tori ones i managed to take.

for my first baby shower, it was a resounding success in all aspects.




as you can see - the back of tori's head and dean.

thank you!

thanks for all of your opinions! i really appreciate them! however, i did a lot of thinking (in between drinking) this weekend and decided that now is not the right time to add a new friend in to the mix. otis told me in no uncertain terms that he wanted to be mine and mine only. he says he really isn't in to sharing me at this point in his life. he says he already hates it when he has to give up his side of the bed for scott when he visits, but that he's willing to do that. i told him he had no choice. anyways, yes, i have conversations with the cat. i ammmmmmm turning in to the cat lady!!! good grief.

more on this weekend later... i went to my first baby shower!

help! opinions please!

ok, so i am a complete dork. let me just start with that. i need everyone's help b/c i just don't know what to do. i've been thinking about getting otis a friend b/c i am gone a lot and i think maybe he gets lonely. but, at the same time i have some real fears that i have to get over. i really really don't want to be "that" girl with all the cats and the old decrepid single chick with two cats. and then there is the whole commitment thing. we all know that stuff scares the crap out of me! but, alas, there is a petco next to my office that has kitties for adoption. it is a foundation that has animals for adoption and it's separate from petco so it isn't like it is a pet store or anything. well, periodically i stop in there for miscellaneous things for otis. well, yesterday i found the sweetest little guy that i really am contemplating bringing home. he's a black and white sweetie who gave me those "take me home" eyes. now, i understand that most animals in cages looking for homes give the "take me home" eyes, but these were really really take me home eyes and somehow we just bonded there. yes, i am a dork. so i'm really thinking about it, but i am also freaking out about having a second one. do i have room? will otis love it? can i love both otis and another kitty enough? i'm so torn. really really torn. that is why i need your advice friends!!!

my two hour commute

today, the subways are down. not running at all. to those of you who do not live in nyc you cannot possibly imagine the crappyness of this situation. last night apparently it rained so hard that the signals for the subways were down and there was too much water on the tracks. so, no subways were running. at all. this morning, i left as usual and went to the subway where i found out that the train was not running, but that i could go to 59th street and try and catch it there, but there was a lot of confusion and nobody really knew what was going on. so i walked to 59th in the hot sticky humid weather and was very glad i took a few minutes more to sleep today instead of showering b/c after this walk it wouldn't have mattered anyway. the subways at 59th street weren't running either. so i could walk from 59th st to 17th street (every 20 blocks is a mile) or take a bus b/c there were no cabs anywhere this morning. cabbies must have been loving this mess! so the bus. i took a limited which means less stops. however, in midtown manhattan there are ungodly amounts of traffic and trying to go anywhere by vehicle is next to impossible. and did i mention that we were crammed in the bus like sweaty sardines b/c obviously no one could take the subways so everyone was jamming on to the busses. so i took the bus down to union square where my office is and finally, finally got to work 2 hours after i started out when it should have taken me 30 minutes. today is the first day i've truly hated having to commute in this city.

the pictures are here!

i have no idea how to do fun slideshows like devon's, but here are a few from the trip. if you want to see the rest, just ask and i can email you the link. stories behind the pictures are coming... just not tonight :)

i'm going to the dominican!!

hi friends, for those of you who don't know.... i'm going to the dominican republic this weekend! i leave early tomorrow morning and i couldn't be more excited!! scott and i are headed to the paradisus punta cana and i will be sure to post pictures here when i get back. i have to go pack now!

my favorite place on earth...

my favorite place on earth is easily kennebunk, maine. i have been going there ever since i was 6 months old. my grandparents have had the house there since the early 60s. when i was younger my family and i would spend a couple weeks there over the course of the summer often going twice - once in june and once in august.



me and my brother in front of the house:

when i turned six years old, my parents let me fly by myself and my trips to maine became much longer. i would usually arrive with my family and they would then leave me behind and i would get to stay an extra week or two all by myself. my nana was amazing and i am so fortunate to have been able to spend all that quality time with her. she would very patiently play chutes and ladders or the box game or read me bedtime stories. during the day we would play on the beach or go to kbia (kennebunk beach improvement association) classes. through the kbia i took all sorts of classes: swimming, sailing, arts and crafts, photography, wood working, golf, tennis, marine biology (yes, i did a science course!) and probably a few other things.

my cohort was always my nana or my oldest friend in the world, heidi. heidi's grandparents live across the street from mine and she used to spend her summers there too. we met when we were like two. not far from our houses and the beach, there is a big tourist trap full of shops called the port. it was a lot better when we were younger. we used to ride our ancient bikes with baskets on the front to the port and go shopping. we loved the penny candy store which literally had loads of penny candies. that's no longer there. it's been replaced by a ben and jerry's... not quite penny candy. heidi and i would spend countless hours playing with my aunt's old barbies from her childhood. they were fabulous old barbies from the 50s and my aunt had all of them and the best clothes for them too!

my nana's been gone for 14 years and we still continue to visit my grandad and his wife, linda. it's pretty much the same old house, except for the changes linda's made like updating the master bedroom which is now a master suite and the kitchen has been updated as well. the house was built in 1911 and bought in the 60s by my grandparents. it was furnished when they bought it and it's obvious that things like the carpet have never been changed and i hope they never are! there is this great shag carpet all over the place! but my room is still the same and i hope it never changes. the mattress is a rock, but i sleep so well there. i think it has something to do with the house and the sound of the waves and yes, even my nana's spirit. the house in kennebunk is my favorite place for that very reason... all of the wonderful memories from growing up. it's my place to get away and just relax.

my room:
the view from my window: