elizabeth, yena, sharon, me and meghan with matt's big head at dinner at an italian place on sat night
me and meghan at the wicker park street fair
Friday, July 25, 2008
meghan comes to visit!!
meghan came to spend the weekend with me! it was so much fun! weekend festivals, food, and more food and also a sat morn workout! i'll explain details, but i've been writing so much (check way old blogs thru here and you'll see more new stories that i needed to catch up on. still have some to go and need to put in pics, but...).... it's now time for me to eat dinner (yes at 9) and relax b/c clearly i am the furthest thing from relaxed....
elizabeth, yena, sharon, me and meghan with matt's big head at dinner at an italian place on sat night
me and meghan at the wicker park street fair
elizabeth, yena, sharon, me and meghan with matt's big head at dinner at an italian place on sat night
me and meghan at the wicker park street fair
how to give a deposition.
My friends,
Today I am going to school you in deposition giving. Back in high school, I took a speech class which made you get up and present on a variety of topics. One of those such topics was a "how to" type presentation. Ahhh, if only I had known that 11 years later, I'd have to know this stuff, I could have given the class a presentation on how to give a deposition. Alas, I did not and that's probably good as the class probably would have taken a snoozer during it. But, if you should ever find yourself in this position, I think this would be extremely helpful. It is also tongue in cheek as I am not allowed to talk details about anything. So rather than discuss what I cannot… I will give you a partial picture as to how I was prepped to give one. Remember, I am not an attorney! And, don't take this seriously as I was writing it more in a sarcastic tone than one of any authority :)
Purpose of Depositions: The purpose of giving a deposition, from our opponents viewpoint, is to get us to say things they can use at trial to undermine our testimony. Our fundamental objective is to give the opposition as little as possible they can use against us. A deposition is comparable to giving a rebuttal in a debate, except the main arguments have not been made. There is a lot more downside than upsides to depositions, so we should proceed with extreme caution. Cases cannot be won at depositions, but they can absolutely be lost. Your opponent is looking to discredit you and catch you in a lie at the trial. They are also hoping to figure out what sides of the case you plan to use and see what direction your attorney is going take.
Pace: Given our opponents desire to get us to say as much as possible that undermines our case, they will try to rush us into saying as much as possible as quickly as possible. Consequently, they will try to control the pace. You want to do the opposite, which is to take control of the pace of the interview. After they ask each question, begin by looking at your lawyer to see if he objects. Then you want to pause and think! After we have thought through what we want to say - and only then - should we give our answer. You want shorter depositions, the opposition wants them to go on forever.
Answer Capability: Really dirty and aggressive lawyers have a number of trick questions they use to intimidate and undermine witnesses. These questions fall in three broad categories: Overly Broad Questions, Hypothetical Questions, and Confusing Questions. If the opposition starts asking these kinds of questions, your attorney is likely to start objecting, and it’s important to figure out what trick the opposition is trying to pull before we answer.
Overly Broad Questions: These questions are a lot harder to recognize and trickier to respond to than you might think. When you meet with your lawyer, ask for some practice with these. For example: "Are there anything facts that your side and the opponent agree upon," You: Not Many, Dirty Attny: "So you say there are some points you agree on, can you name an example ..." You: Long pause, I cannot think of any. Stop right there as they are eating you for lunch. The better thing to do is recognize this is an overly broad question and answer "That's hard for me to answer – my opponent has not been deposed yet and I'm not a lawyer - why don't you tell me a point and I'll tell you if I think everyone agrees on that point or not."
Confusing Questions: If you cannot figure out what the opposition is asking, tell them so. If they begin any question with "Isn't it true that ...," they are trying to get you to agree to their theory of the case. The answer to this question is almost always "no."
Hypothetical Question: For example say that you are involved in a mental illness case (hypothetically of course) and no expert witness has yet testified reading is not a sign of mental incompetence, this is only a "what if one did" kind of a question. ALWAYS ANSWER A HYPOTHETICAL by starting off saying you are answering a hypothetical, i.e. "The answer to you hypothetical question assuming reading is not a factor ... is my hypothetical answer ...". This answer cannot then be used at trial to refute your testimony.
**I am not an attorney and take no liability for anything on this page!!**
Today I am going to school you in deposition giving. Back in high school, I took a speech class which made you get up and present on a variety of topics. One of those such topics was a "how to" type presentation. Ahhh, if only I had known that 11 years later, I'd have to know this stuff, I could have given the class a presentation on how to give a deposition. Alas, I did not and that's probably good as the class probably would have taken a snoozer during it. But, if you should ever find yourself in this position, I think this would be extremely helpful. It is also tongue in cheek as I am not allowed to talk details about anything. So rather than discuss what I cannot… I will give you a partial picture as to how I was prepped to give one. Remember, I am not an attorney! And, don't take this seriously as I was writing it more in a sarcastic tone than one of any authority :)
Purpose of Depositions: The purpose of giving a deposition, from our opponents viewpoint, is to get us to say things they can use at trial to undermine our testimony. Our fundamental objective is to give the opposition as little as possible they can use against us. A deposition is comparable to giving a rebuttal in a debate, except the main arguments have not been made. There is a lot more downside than upsides to depositions, so we should proceed with extreme caution. Cases cannot be won at depositions, but they can absolutely be lost. Your opponent is looking to discredit you and catch you in a lie at the trial. They are also hoping to figure out what sides of the case you plan to use and see what direction your attorney is going take.
Pace: Given our opponents desire to get us to say as much as possible that undermines our case, they will try to rush us into saying as much as possible as quickly as possible. Consequently, they will try to control the pace. You want to do the opposite, which is to take control of the pace of the interview. After they ask each question, begin by looking at your lawyer to see if he objects. Then you want to pause and think! After we have thought through what we want to say - and only then - should we give our answer. You want shorter depositions, the opposition wants them to go on forever.
Answer Capability: Really dirty and aggressive lawyers have a number of trick questions they use to intimidate and undermine witnesses. These questions fall in three broad categories: Overly Broad Questions, Hypothetical Questions, and Confusing Questions. If the opposition starts asking these kinds of questions, your attorney is likely to start objecting, and it’s important to figure out what trick the opposition is trying to pull before we answer.
Overly Broad Questions: These questions are a lot harder to recognize and trickier to respond to than you might think. When you meet with your lawyer, ask for some practice with these. For example: "Are there anything facts that your side and the opponent agree upon," You: Not Many, Dirty Attny: "So you say there are some points you agree on, can you name an example ..." You: Long pause, I cannot think of any. Stop right there as they are eating you for lunch. The better thing to do is recognize this is an overly broad question and answer "That's hard for me to answer – my opponent has not been deposed yet and I'm not a lawyer - why don't you tell me a point and I'll tell you if I think everyone agrees on that point or not."
Confusing Questions: If you cannot figure out what the opposition is asking, tell them so. If they begin any question with "Isn't it true that ...," they are trying to get you to agree to their theory of the case. The answer to this question is almost always "no."
Hypothetical Question: For example say that you are involved in a mental illness case (hypothetically of course) and no expert witness has yet testified reading is not a sign of mental incompetence, this is only a "what if one did" kind of a question. ALWAYS ANSWER A HYPOTHETICAL by starting off saying you are answering a hypothetical, i.e. "The answer to you hypothetical question assuming reading is not a factor ... is my hypothetical answer ...". This answer cannot then be used at trial to refute your testimony.
**I am not an attorney and take no liability for anything on this page!!**
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
update on the house!
it's almost complete!! here it is from the front. i haven't seen it in person since last december, but all of the pictures i've seen are beautiful! now, who wants to come and visit!?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
jared's surprise bday dinner & adam's bday/housewarming party
so, i was quite the popular one on this particular sat (the 12th). i had two birthday parties to attend! the first one was a surprise dinner at wildfire and the second one was a party/housewarming at adam's place.
jared's surprise: well, it turned out to not be much of a surprise b/c i was a few minutes late, but i wasn't the reason it was ruined (thank god!). it was ruined b/c wildfire refused to seat us until everyone was there. so, the birthday didn't get to walk in to the restaurant and see us sitting at the table as planned. but, that's ok, we had a great dinner anyways. wildfire had some delicious food! i had their bbq chicken. they weren't messing around either... it was a huge portion! and yes, i ate it all... whoops!
after the dinner, i rushed home to meet devon and patrick as well as alice, tricia, megan, and becca at my house. we were all going to meet at my house and then head over to adam and kristin's new place. devon and patrick were on my door step when i arrived and then we headed up. we polished off a bottle of wine while we were waiting on the other girls to arrive.
adam & kristin's housewarming and bday party: all of us walked from my house to adam's which was a short walk - maybe 3 or 4 or 5 tops blocks (but i'm a terrible judge of distance). once we got there around 10:30, the party was still going and had been since 5ish. they had a keg out on their balcony which is a very large wrap around balcony on belmont (for those of you who have visited and know that street). i was a little jealous of the balcony. i must admit. in any case, their place was beautiful and i had a blast. devon was hilarious and holding court with stories of birth control (trust me, it was funnnnnnnny. some of us relieved the college years and did a keg stand. kristin had never done a kegstand before and somehow we convinced her to give it a try. devon tried to do a kegstand lying down. and i think at one point (well i know) i thought it was funny to pour a little of my beer out to the street below as people were walking by and then duck down so i wouldn't be seen... i think i hit a few people! and then there was a chocolate cake on the counter and i had a piece... or two... and then when no one was looking i swiped the frosting with a knife. yummmm, frosting! once we were sufficiently drunk, devon and patrick walked me back to my house so i didn't have to stumble home by myself... i was super greatful... thanks again guys!
jared's surprise: well, it turned out to not be much of a surprise b/c i was a few minutes late, but i wasn't the reason it was ruined (thank god!). it was ruined b/c wildfire refused to seat us until everyone was there. so, the birthday didn't get to walk in to the restaurant and see us sitting at the table as planned. but, that's ok, we had a great dinner anyways. wildfire had some delicious food! i had their bbq chicken. they weren't messing around either... it was a huge portion! and yes, i ate it all... whoops!
after the dinner, i rushed home to meet devon and patrick as well as alice, tricia, megan, and becca at my house. we were all going to meet at my house and then head over to adam and kristin's new place. devon and patrick were on my door step when i arrived and then we headed up. we polished off a bottle of wine while we were waiting on the other girls to arrive.
adam & kristin's housewarming and bday party: all of us walked from my house to adam's which was a short walk - maybe 3 or 4 or 5 tops blocks (but i'm a terrible judge of distance). once we got there around 10:30, the party was still going and had been since 5ish. they had a keg out on their balcony which is a very large wrap around balcony on belmont (for those of you who have visited and know that street). i was a little jealous of the balcony. i must admit. in any case, their place was beautiful and i had a blast. devon was hilarious and holding court with stories of birth control (trust me, it was funnnnnnnny. some of us relieved the college years and did a keg stand. kristin had never done a kegstand before and somehow we convinced her to give it a try. devon tried to do a kegstand lying down. and i think at one point (well i know) i thought it was funny to pour a little of my beer out to the street below as people were walking by and then duck down so i wouldn't be seen... i think i hit a few people! and then there was a chocolate cake on the counter and i had a piece... or two... and then when no one was looking i swiped the frosting with a knife. yummmm, frosting! once we were sufficiently drunk, devon and patrick walked me back to my house so i didn't have to stumble home by myself... i was super greatful... thanks again guys!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
neringa's 3rd of july party
i'll start by saying the night ended with 2 girls in bathrobes and a guy going thru the drive thru of mcdonald's at 4am b/c one of the bathrobe clad girls wanted food and special sauce. i was not that girl, but let me explain how i came to be in a bathrobe in the drive thru of mcdonald's at 4am....
our realtor, neringa was throwing a rooftop bbq for friends and we were invited. i guess i should define 'we' - matt, his gf elizabeth, and me. i went to their house first b/c it was only a couple blocks away from her house and when i got there, there was an open bottle of wine. so we were going to enjoy A glass and then head over... a couple bottles later, some deep talking (they had just gotten back from ca where matt was dealing with the passing of his mother), and other random thoughts, we decided to head out (late) to neringa's party.
we got to her party and we greeted by some very drunk folks. possibly even drunker than us! and so we ate some food and drank a lot more wine. the night was freeeeeeezing! neringa brought out a bunch of her winter coats for everyone to wear... and i was still cold! in any case, somehow someone got an idea that getting in the jacuzzi would be a great idea. so neringa went downstairs and got towels and bathrobes (why she had 4 robes i have no idea) and off came the clothes (bras and panties on) and into the rooftop jacuzzi we all went. including neringa and her husband. so after we were sufficiently done with that, we got out and dried off, but we decided that putting back on our clothes would suck bc of our wet undergarments and bc we were drunk we decided to wear the robes home and return them later.
so matt, elizabeth, and i left the party and decided we were starrrrrrrrrrving. matt hailed a cab (he was dressed) and elizabeth and i stumbled down the street taking a ton of random pictures and then joined matt at the cab. he was rather annoyed with us for taking so long to get to the cab. whoops. anyways, we decide to go to portillos, but they were closed. across the street we see the rock and roll mcdonalds and decided that would be a great idea. so elizabeth was dying for a big mac and special sauce and in to the drive thru in a cab we went. we then decided to talk to a car full of guys also in line at mc d's. they were all... are you wearing... bathrobes?!?!? to that we answered matter of factly, why yes we are as if it were the most normal thing ever.
after that trip, we cabbed it back to matt's house where i was given a tshirt and crashed in the spare bedroom meant for such occasions. lemme just tell you how hung over we all were the next day. whoops! but it sure was fun. matt made us breakfast sandwiches which were delicious while elizabeth and i lounged on the couch watching tori spelling's show. it was a marathon or something. that was our iq level that day! so, later in the afternoon after tv and some sunning ourselves on his patio, i went home to shower and get dressed and then head back to their house to get them to head on over to dev and patrick's amazing roof top bbq.
matty and me
me and elizabeth
matt and elizabeth...drunky drunks!
up close and blurry! we're great photographers!
so funny!
running thru wicker park in robes
matt got us a cab and was waiting for us to run to chicago in our robes to get in and go for food
hilarious. we died laughing this night!
our realtor, neringa was throwing a rooftop bbq for friends and we were invited. i guess i should define 'we' - matt, his gf elizabeth, and me. i went to their house first b/c it was only a couple blocks away from her house and when i got there, there was an open bottle of wine. so we were going to enjoy A glass and then head over... a couple bottles later, some deep talking (they had just gotten back from ca where matt was dealing with the passing of his mother), and other random thoughts, we decided to head out (late) to neringa's party.
we got to her party and we greeted by some very drunk folks. possibly even drunker than us! and so we ate some food and drank a lot more wine. the night was freeeeeeezing! neringa brought out a bunch of her winter coats for everyone to wear... and i was still cold! in any case, somehow someone got an idea that getting in the jacuzzi would be a great idea. so neringa went downstairs and got towels and bathrobes (why she had 4 robes i have no idea) and off came the clothes (bras and panties on) and into the rooftop jacuzzi we all went. including neringa and her husband. so after we were sufficiently done with that, we got out and dried off, but we decided that putting back on our clothes would suck bc of our wet undergarments and bc we were drunk we decided to wear the robes home and return them later.
so matt, elizabeth, and i left the party and decided we were starrrrrrrrrrving. matt hailed a cab (he was dressed) and elizabeth and i stumbled down the street taking a ton of random pictures and then joined matt at the cab. he was rather annoyed with us for taking so long to get to the cab. whoops. anyways, we decide to go to portillos, but they were closed. across the street we see the rock and roll mcdonalds and decided that would be a great idea. so elizabeth was dying for a big mac and special sauce and in to the drive thru in a cab we went. we then decided to talk to a car full of guys also in line at mc d's. they were all... are you wearing... bathrobes?!?!? to that we answered matter of factly, why yes we are as if it were the most normal thing ever.
after that trip, we cabbed it back to matt's house where i was given a tshirt and crashed in the spare bedroom meant for such occasions. lemme just tell you how hung over we all were the next day. whoops! but it sure was fun. matt made us breakfast sandwiches which were delicious while elizabeth and i lounged on the couch watching tori spelling's show. it was a marathon or something. that was our iq level that day! so, later in the afternoon after tv and some sunning ourselves on his patio, i went home to shower and get dressed and then head back to their house to get them to head on over to dev and patrick's amazing roof top bbq.
matty and me
me and elizabeth
matt and elizabeth...drunky drunks!
up close and blurry! we're great photographers!
so funny!
running thru wicker park in robes
matt got us a cab and was waiting for us to run to chicago in our robes to get in and go for food
hilarious. we died laughing this night!
devon and patrick's 4th of july party!
devon and patrick hosted a wonderful 4th of july evening on their rooftop deck. patrick was at the helm of the bbq and made some really great burgers and dogs and veggie shish kabobs. devon decorated and coordinated an amazing setting like she always does. seriously folks, when i am ever able to get the pictures off my camera i will show you what i mean. as it got darker, the fireworks started going off...everywhere. and i do mean everywhere! it was so beautiful - everywhere you looked for 360 degrees there were fireworks. it was amazing. when dev said we'd be able to see fireworks, i thought she meant one or two displays here and there... wow, i had no idea she meant literally hundreds of displays. it was magical. not quite so magical, but holding the boys' attention was the tv brought up to the rooftop in order to watch the cubs play. my friends heather and her hubs, rick, and also matt and his gf, elizabeth joined me on the rooftop and the rest of the guests i hadn't previously met (besides nikolai) but they were all friendly and nice. matt, elizabeth, and i were still recovering from a nasty hangover and so our night was cut short...we were so tired! i was lame and home in bed by 10:30 and definitely asleep by 10:33. thank you to devon and patrick for such a great 4th bbq!!
me, matt, and elizabeth:
me and devs:
pretty flowers!
the boys watching the baseball game:
my attempt to photograph fireworks...
me and heather:
patrick at the helm:
yummmmmmm!
the group up on the roof:
matt and elizabeth shuck some corn...
me, matt, and elizabeth:
me and devs:
pretty flowers!
the boys watching the baseball game:
my attempt to photograph fireworks...
me and heather:
patrick at the helm:
yummmmmmm!
the group up on the roof:
matt and elizabeth shuck some corn...
my ghetto ride...
on wednesday, i had a dr appt at the u of chicago medical system. the buildings were fabuluos. the day before i debated whether i should take a cab, drive, or public transportation. i ruled out cab bc it would have been probably 50 bucks each way, and then i ruled out driving b/c i would either have to park downtown or drive way out of the way all the way home and then take the el back to work, and so i decided i could take public transportation seeing as though that seemed fairly simple and it would only cost 1.75 each way... folks, i'm poor... gotta cut corners somewhere!
so, i took the train downtown to where i was supposed to get the bus. it took me forever to figure out where the stop was. eventually found it, waited 15 mins and no bus. no sight of bus. so i got a cab. spent 25 bucks. excellent. i love spending money on cabs. but i got there. 5 minutes late. whatever. that was easy. the appt itself was easy. it took a couple of hours, but no big deal.
so, going home. i got on the bus going in the wrong direction. i was THE only white person on there. ok, uncomfortable. so, realizing i went the wrong way (i started on 58th and needed to go to 63rd, i realized the street numbers were going down, not up). so i get off at 55th and cross the street. and get yelled at by two cars (of black people) b/c i crossed while the light was green for me mind you, but apparently turned yellow, and then it was their turn and they were mad that i was still crossing the street, um, ok, i was almost to the other side like 2 feet short. so now i'm feeling really uncomfortable and i'm waiting, in the ghetto, for a bus to take me the other direction with 5 black women. no white person in sight. (which i didn't realize b/c in the cab apparently he took me the really nice way full of gorgeous old big homes...ugh, those had totally disappeared). so then i get on a completely black bus and of course everyone is staring at me and i've never felt so white. i get off at 63rd and go to the green line el.
ok i'm still in the ghetto. like the really really bad south side of chicago ghetto. i'm waiting and there aren't too many people, i feel fine right then. and then the train comes. so i get on it (btw, it's the end of the line where i'm at and can go only one way. yet i double checked just to make sure there were no more wrong ways taken). i'm on the train and the doors close. i'm the only one on it. uhhh, ok. but then it doesnt go anywhere and i started to freak out. i didn't know what to do so i decided to use the emergency pull handle to open it up. no noise going off, phew. then the guy tells me that's the train, just waiting for a bit to go unti there are more people. ok. so then that train car completely fills up (doors finally open) and this one black guy decides he needs to talk to me. and i can't be rude. i'm on a car full of black people. in the ghetto. and i am the only white girl on there. so i humor him and talk as little as possible. and turn my ring aorund so you cant see the diamonds and untuck the hair behind my ears so the earrings aren't noticeable. sounds so prejudiced, but shit, better safe than sorry right?? and i am in the middle of the worst chicago ghetto. anyways, he tells me i have pretty eyes, that he does something(couldn't understand) for 12 bucks an hour cause that was better than the 9.50 he was making before. and that he goes out every single night. he'd asked if i was married... said no, but i told him i had a boyfriend hoping he'd leave me alone. he didn't. so then when i said 12 bucks is better than 9 that's good and you get paid once a week - even better - wish i could get paid weekly - he says, i can hook ya up! oh boy. um no. then he's all how much you make? and i'm all dont wanna talk about it. but he wouldn't let it go and he kept telling me he'd hook me up so i finally said 15 pulling some number out of my ass. then he's says hell, what do you do for that. i said sales and he says what do you sell, i can sell anything to anyone... ok buddy with the glazed eyes and terrible teeth. i'm sure you can sell 1031 exchanges. but it gets better... i ask where he's getting off (ie how much longer do i have to be nice to you) and he says 47th st. thank god, that was only a few stops away. by the time we get there, i've learned he's 35 and has 2 women and 8 kids (his words) he supports (or doesn't). and him - all on 12 bucks an hour. oh yes, and the best part. he wants to know how old i am. i told him 29 and he said no way... he thought i was more 39. oh gee, thanks. he said i was too mature for my age. gee, thanks. oh yes, and he said he could get me a knock off of my purse and i told him it already was (it wasn't - i don't do knock offs). but, i'm not done here. i'm still the ONLY white person in sight and then finally a stop comes closer to where i need to be and i decide to get off and change to the red train. only i mistook orange for red (they look similar!!) and then got on orange. at least there were white people and i wasn't in the complete ghetto. so then, i got off at the next stop and luckily they also had a red stop to change to. so i managed to find that and get on the right train. and then i was back in my happy white/mixed area of downtown where i picked up some lunch, thanked my lucky stars THAT was over and came in to the office. it was awful. and i'd so much rather be at home relaxing and forgetting that ever happened.
ok, so maybe i sound slightly prejudiced there... but in my defense, i was in the complete ghetto. and everyone i've told that story to that lives here has said... wow, you just don't take public transportation down there - it's dangerous! and bear in mind that just the day before, my coworker got mugged and had her wallet stolen at an el train stop in a decent neighborhood so that was rolling around in my head too. so yes, i probably was being prejudiced, but at the same time, i think everyone has their prejudices. and frankly, had on been on my side of town and the only white girl on a train, i probably would have been just fine. but, something about being in the ghetto and clearly looking out of place... it was frightening. so lesson learned, the next time (if there is one) that i have to go there, i will definitely be driving. even if gas costs 10 bucks a gallon.
so, i took the train downtown to where i was supposed to get the bus. it took me forever to figure out where the stop was. eventually found it, waited 15 mins and no bus. no sight of bus. so i got a cab. spent 25 bucks. excellent. i love spending money on cabs. but i got there. 5 minutes late. whatever. that was easy. the appt itself was easy. it took a couple of hours, but no big deal.
so, going home. i got on the bus going in the wrong direction. i was THE only white person on there. ok, uncomfortable. so, realizing i went the wrong way (i started on 58th and needed to go to 63rd, i realized the street numbers were going down, not up). so i get off at 55th and cross the street. and get yelled at by two cars (of black people) b/c i crossed while the light was green for me mind you, but apparently turned yellow, and then it was their turn and they were mad that i was still crossing the street, um, ok, i was almost to the other side like 2 feet short. so now i'm feeling really uncomfortable and i'm waiting, in the ghetto, for a bus to take me the other direction with 5 black women. no white person in sight. (which i didn't realize b/c in the cab apparently he took me the really nice way full of gorgeous old big homes...ugh, those had totally disappeared). so then i get on a completely black bus and of course everyone is staring at me and i've never felt so white. i get off at 63rd and go to the green line el.
ok i'm still in the ghetto. like the really really bad south side of chicago ghetto. i'm waiting and there aren't too many people, i feel fine right then. and then the train comes. so i get on it (btw, it's the end of the line where i'm at and can go only one way. yet i double checked just to make sure there were no more wrong ways taken). i'm on the train and the doors close. i'm the only one on it. uhhh, ok. but then it doesnt go anywhere and i started to freak out. i didn't know what to do so i decided to use the emergency pull handle to open it up. no noise going off, phew. then the guy tells me that's the train, just waiting for a bit to go unti there are more people. ok. so then that train car completely fills up (doors finally open) and this one black guy decides he needs to talk to me. and i can't be rude. i'm on a car full of black people. in the ghetto. and i am the only white girl on there. so i humor him and talk as little as possible. and turn my ring aorund so you cant see the diamonds and untuck the hair behind my ears so the earrings aren't noticeable. sounds so prejudiced, but shit, better safe than sorry right?? and i am in the middle of the worst chicago ghetto. anyways, he tells me i have pretty eyes, that he does something(couldn't understand) for 12 bucks an hour cause that was better than the 9.50 he was making before. and that he goes out every single night. he'd asked if i was married... said no, but i told him i had a boyfriend hoping he'd leave me alone. he didn't. so then when i said 12 bucks is better than 9 that's good and you get paid once a week - even better - wish i could get paid weekly - he says, i can hook ya up! oh boy. um no. then he's all how much you make? and i'm all dont wanna talk about it. but he wouldn't let it go and he kept telling me he'd hook me up so i finally said 15 pulling some number out of my ass. then he's says hell, what do you do for that. i said sales and he says what do you sell, i can sell anything to anyone... ok buddy with the glazed eyes and terrible teeth. i'm sure you can sell 1031 exchanges. but it gets better... i ask where he's getting off (ie how much longer do i have to be nice to you) and he says 47th st. thank god, that was only a few stops away. by the time we get there, i've learned he's 35 and has 2 women and 8 kids (his words) he supports (or doesn't). and him - all on 12 bucks an hour. oh yes, and the best part. he wants to know how old i am. i told him 29 and he said no way... he thought i was more 39. oh gee, thanks. he said i was too mature for my age. gee, thanks. oh yes, and he said he could get me a knock off of my purse and i told him it already was (it wasn't - i don't do knock offs). but, i'm not done here. i'm still the ONLY white person in sight and then finally a stop comes closer to where i need to be and i decide to get off and change to the red train. only i mistook orange for red (they look similar!!) and then got on orange. at least there were white people and i wasn't in the complete ghetto. so then, i got off at the next stop and luckily they also had a red stop to change to. so i managed to find that and get on the right train. and then i was back in my happy white/mixed area of downtown where i picked up some lunch, thanked my lucky stars THAT was over and came in to the office. it was awful. and i'd so much rather be at home relaxing and forgetting that ever happened.
ok, so maybe i sound slightly prejudiced there... but in my defense, i was in the complete ghetto. and everyone i've told that story to that lives here has said... wow, you just don't take public transportation down there - it's dangerous! and bear in mind that just the day before, my coworker got mugged and had her wallet stolen at an el train stop in a decent neighborhood so that was rolling around in my head too. so yes, i probably was being prejudiced, but at the same time, i think everyone has their prejudices. and frankly, had on been on my side of town and the only white girl on a train, i probably would have been just fine. but, something about being in the ghetto and clearly looking out of place... it was frightening. so lesson learned, the next time (if there is one) that i have to go there, i will definitely be driving. even if gas costs 10 bucks a gallon.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
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