my daddy.

it's hard to believe thanksgiving was just a week ago. it seems like a lifetime ago.

you guys all know by now that my dad has kidney cancer and that it has spread to the lymph nodes and likely his lung. we are praying that the bone scans and brain scan come back as negative and that the stupid cancer hasn't spread further.

it's all happened so fast. too fast. funny how fast life changes. mid october dad came home from a work trip not feeling great - he had a cold or something developing in to a cold. i came to houston a few days later and while he was feeling much better, i got the flu. awesome. by the time i was feeling better, he was feeling worse again. and then i went home to chicago and i got sick again. fun stuff. so we all thought dad's fatigue and fevers and cough were leftovers from a cold or relapse... but he just didn't get better. he did work during this time and was tired, but fine-ish. eventually he agreed to see a doc in the box and they said he had pneumonia. maybe he did, maybe he didn't but the drugs they gave him didn't help. by then mom pretty much made him go to the doctor and the doc ordered bloodwork and based off those results a ct scan. the tuesday before thanksgiving, the doc called dad and told him he needed to see him and if mom was available to bring her along. uh oh. and then the devastating news: cancer. a tumor almost as large as his kidney was attached to his kidney. mom called me hysterically crying. until that point, i just thought... oh he needs some drugs and that'll make him better. i'd just seen him... yes, he was a bit sick, but he'd had a cold! i didn't realize how many naps and how much time he was spending in bed and just how sick he'd gotten.

on nov 17th, he was too tired and sick to work (he works from home) and so this was the first day he called in sick. he hasn't worked since. he spends most of the day in bed resting or sleeping. he has just barely enough energy to come down for meals, but then tires out and goes back to bed. occasionally he stays downstairs to watch a bit of tv and sit up for a bit. it's awful to watch.

it's even more awful to see my parents crying together. but it's also so inspirational... wow, there is such a strong love there and to see how much they love eachother is just so amazing... and then it just makes me break down with the what ifs... and i know i can't go there, but i just don't know how my mom would handle the world without my dad. most of you know they met when she was 14 and he was 16. they've been married 38 years.... and together 43. My dad turns 60 next month. that's a whole lot of time together.

the funny thing is... i always thought i'd have to worry more about mom. she's the one who's had several biopsies for breast cancer and is at a high risk for it. I just assumed I'd someday have to help mom through a cancer scare. i just never imagined my dad being the one to get sick.

if there is a best part to all of this, it is the outpouring of love from each and every one of you. you all mean the world to me and your love and support do as well. i couldn't get through this without your words of encouragement.

and the outpouring of love to my parents has been tremendous too. my mom has a strange thing of "oh we don't have many friends and no one will be there"... boy has she been proven wrong. we set the caringbridge site up for dad less than 3 days ago and already there are 50 comments and mom's had too many emails to count. we've had dinner brought over every night this week which has been tremendously helpful since mom is not what we call a cook (yes, i take after her!). they have a strong network of friends, neighbors, and church goers who are all pulling for dad. and that is awesome.

so thanks guys... you are the best.